In our modern, fast-paced world, we have become a society that is obsessed with the “new.” We chase the latest technology, the freshest trends, and the most recent voices. In this frantic pursuit of what is next, we have inadvertently turned our backs on the very foundations that hold us up.
We have sidelined our elders, viewing them through a lens of frailty or obsolescence rather than seeing them for what they truly are: our living libraries, our spiritual anchors, and our most direct connection to the divine.
At Fematin958 Intl, we believe that the healing of the Black diaspora begins with a return to the feet of our elders. To see an elder as an oracle is to recognise that they carry the echoes of those who came before us. They are the bridge between the physical realm we inhabit and the ancestral realm that guides us. When we lose our connection to our seniors, we lose our way.
The Crisis of Disconnection
Many of the challenges we face today, such as the persistent ache of intergenerational trauma, the feeling of being “unmoored,” and the search for cultural identity, stem from a profound disconnection. We have been conditioned by a Western perspective that prizes youth and productivity above all else. This system teaches us that once a person reaches a certain age, their value diminishes.
However, in Yoruba cosmology and many African diasporic traditions, age is synonymous with spiritual authority. An elder is not simply someone who has lived a long time; they are someone who has survived, endured, and gathered the “ase” (the power to make things happen) through lived experience.
When we ignore our elders, we are effectively choosing to navigate a stormy sea without a compass.
Common Challenges of Cultural Disconnection:
- Loss of Oral History: When our elders pass without sharing their stories, a library burns down.
- Spiritual Isolation: Without the guidance of those who understand our traditions, we struggle to find authentic rituals for healing.
- Fragmented Identity: We feel like “half-people” because we do not know the roots from which we grew.
Phase One: The Remembering
The first step in restoring the elder to their rightful place as an oracle is The Remembering. This is the process of looking back with intention. We must remember that we are not self-made. Every breath we take is a gift from a lineage that refused to be extinguished.
Our elders carry the blueprints of our survival. Within their memories are the songs, the recipes, the remedies, and the warnings that kept our ancestors alive through the middle passage, through colonial transitions, and through the struggles of the modern era.
When we sit with an elder, we are not just making conversation. We are engaging in a sacred act of retrieval.
I often encourage my community to look at the elders in their own families, even the ones who might be “difficult.” Trauma often wears the mask of silence or irritability in older generations.
Part of The Remembering is having the compassion to see past the mask and ask the questions that unlock the wisdom underneath.
Phase Two: The Unveiling
Once we begin to remember, we move into The Unveiling. This phase is about stripping away the societal prejudices that make us overlook the elderly. We must unveil the “Oracle” within the grandmother sitting in the corner or the grandfather tending his garden.
An oracle is a source of wise counsel or a prophetic opinion. Our elders function as oracles because they possess a long-view perspective that the youth cannot yet access. They have seen cycles of life repeat themselves. They know that “this too shall pass” because they have seen it pass before.
In this phase, we begin to consult our elders actively. We don’t just visit them out of obligation; we go to them for insight. We ask:
- How did you find peace during times of great upheaval?
- What were the values that kept our family together when things fell apart?
- What are the dreams you had that you want us to carry forward?
By asking these questions, we validate their existence and, in turn, we receive the spiritual nourishment we didn’t even know we were starving for. This is where the healing of intergenerational trauma truly begins, as we bridge the gap between the silence of the past and the voice of the present.
Phase Three: The Reclaiming
The final movement is The Reclaiming. This is where we take the wisdom gathered from our “Living Oracles” and weave it into the fabric of our daily lives. Reclaiming is about restoration. It is about restoring the Elder’s Council in our hearts and our communities.
When we reclaim the wisdom of our senior generations, we stop repeating the same mistakes. We learn the art of patience, the power of ritual, and the importance of character over status.
In Yoruba tradition, “Iwa Pele” (good character) is the highest achievement, and who better to teach us about character than those who have been tested by the fires of time?
Reclaiming also means taking responsibility for our elders. Reverence is not a passive feeling; it is an active practice. It means ensuring they are cared for, listened to, and integrated into the lives of the younger generations.
When a child sits at the feet of a great-grandparent, a spiritual circuit is closed, and the power of the ancestors flows freely once again.
The Elder as a Living Link
It is important to understand that our elders are the most tangible link we have to our ancestral power. In the work we do at Fematin958 Intl, we recognise that the ancestors are not just spirits in the ether; they are reflected in the eyes of our seniors.
When an elder speaks, they are often speaking with the collective voice of the lineage. Their intuition is sharpened by decades of observation. They can often sense a spiritual imbalance in a younger person before the person even recognises it themselves. This is the “Oracular” quality we must learn to respect.
Why We Must Revere Our Seniors Today:
- Cultural Continuity: They are the keepers of our specific cultural nuances and languages.
- Spiritual Mentorship: They provide a grounded perspective that balances the fiery, sometimes impulsive energy of youth.
- Healing the Lineage: By honouring the living elder, we heal our relationship with the ancestors who have passed.
- Emotional Resilience: Learning how they survived their darkest days gives us the strength to face our own.
A Sacred Invitation
I invite you to look at the elders in your life with fresh eyes. Whether they are biological relatives, neighbors, or spiritual mentors, recognize them as the sacred vessels they are. We are living in a time of great transition, and we need the steady hands of our seniors to help us navigate the path ahead.
Do not wait until a funeral to listen to the stories. Do not wait until a memory is gone to ask for guidance. The wisdom is available to you right now, but it requires humility to seek it and patience to receive it.
The Elder as an Oracle is not a relic of the past; it is a necessity for our future. As we reclaim this reverence, we move closer to the “The Reclaiming” of our full selves. We find that we are not walking this path alone, but are supported by a vast, ancient, and powerful network of wisdom that stretches back to the beginning of time.
Let us commit to being the generation that turns back to the elders. Let us be the ones who listen, who learn, and who carry the torch of ancestral wisdom into the light of a new day. In doing so, we ensure that the circle remains unbroken and that our children will one day look at us and see the Oracles they need to survive and thrive.
Through this sacred connection, we find our grace, we find our clarity, and most importantly, we find our way home.
If you feel a pull toward your roots but aren’t sure how to begin the conversation, or if you feel blocked by the weight of family patterns you don’t quite understand, I am here to support you. Let us walk this path of remembering together.
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