How many of us move through our days with a quiet, persistent feeling that something is not quite right? We may have the job, the family, the home, and all the external markers of a ‘good life’, yet there is an inner ache, a sense of misalignment. It can feel like we are wearing clothes that do not fit, or walking a path that was chosen for us, not by us.
This feeling is a sacred signal. It is the whisper of your soul, your Orí (your inner spirit or destiny, as we say in Yoruba tradition), calling you home to yourself. It is an invitation to stop, to listen, and to begin the profound work of building a life that is a true, authentic, and vibrant reflection of your spiritual truth.
This journey is one I have walked and one I witness every day in my work at Fematin958 Intl. It is a journey of transformation that I have come to understand in three core phases: The Remembering, The Unveiling, and The Reclaiming.
This path is not about becoming someone new. It is about courageously returning to the person you have always been, beneath the layers of expectation, trauma, and cultural conditioning. It is about being both rooted in your story and rising into your power.
Phase 1: The Remembering (Getting Rooted)
We cannot rise if we are not rooted. A tree cannot reach for the sun if its roots are shallow. For many of us, especially within the African diaspora, our roots have been intentionally obscured, severed, or traumatised. We are often living with the echoes of our ancestors’ pain without the balance of their wisdom and power.
The Remembering is the sacred work of healing our lineage. It is the process of turning back to look at where, and who, we come from.
This is often the most tender part of the journey. We may encounter stories of great pain, loss, and silence. This is the home of intergenerational trauma, the unhealed wounds that are passed down not just through stories, but in our very bodies.
Scientific fields like epigenetics are now exploring what spiritual traditions have always known: that the experiences of our ancestors can influence our own health, behaviours, and emotional patterns.
As the American Psychological Association (APA) notes, the historical and generational trauma experienced by communities can have lasting psychological effects on subsequent generations.
But here is the beautiful truth: where the trauma lives, the medicine also lives. When we have the courage to look back, we find more than just pain. We find resilience. We find strength. We find traditions, songs, foods, and ways of being that have survived against all odds.
How to begin ‘The Remembering’:
- Practise Sacred Storytelling: Ask questions of your elders. “What was your grandmother like?” “What stories did you hear growing up?” Listen with an open heart, without judgement. Every fragment is a piece of your puzzle. If you do not have elders to ask, turn to history. Research the lands, the cultures, and the histories of your people.
- Create a Simple Ancestor Altar: This does not need to be elaborate. A small, dedicated space in your home with a glass of water, a white candle, and perhaps photos of family members who have passed. It is a physical declaration that you are open to connection and guidance. Speaking their names honours their memory and anchors your present.
- Acknowledge the Ground Beneath You: We all live on land with a history. Acknowledge the indigenous people of the land you occupy. Acknowledge your own peoples, wherever they may be from. This simple act of awareness roots you in a history larger than yourself.
This phase is about gathering the scattered pieces of your lineage and weaving them into a foundation. This foundation is what will hold you as you do the work of unveiling your own truth.
Phase 2: The Unveiling (Discovering Your Spiritual Truth)
Once we begin to feel more rooted in our story, we create a safe container to do the next phase of the work: The Unveiling.
This is the process of peeling back the layers to discover who you are at your core. For so long, our identities are shaped by external forces. We are told what to believe, how to behave, what to value, and what success looks like by our families, our society, our religions, and our cultures.
We internalise these messages so deeply that we often mistake them for our own voice.
‘The Unveiling’ is the often-messy, always-brave work of discernment. It is learning to separate the ‘shoulds’ from the ‘is’. It requires radical honesty and immense self-compassion.
This phase is where we confront the cultural and personal disconnection that has kept us small. We might realise that the career path we chose was to please a parent. We might see that the way we approach relationships is a pattern inherited from our mother. We might discover that the spiritual beliefs we were given no longer nourish our spirit.
This unveiling is an excavation of the divine feminine within all of us. It is the return to intuition, to feeling, to the body’s wisdom. Your body is a sacred compass, always telling you the truth. That tightness in your chest, that feeling of expansion, that pit in your stomach: this is your spirit speaking to you in its mother tongue.
How to begin ‘The Unveiling’:
- Cultivate Stillness: You cannot hear the whisper of your soul over the noise of the world. This is not negotiable. You must find time for stillness, whether through formal meditation, prayer, walking in nature, or simply sitting in silence for five minutes with your morning tea. In the quiet, your truth begins to surface.
- Ask Sacred Questions: Use a journal to explore your inner world. Start with simple prompts:
- When do I feel most alive and authentic?
- What am I afraid to admit that I want?
- What beliefs am I holding that no longer feel true?
- If I were not afraid of disappointing anyone, what would I do?
- Listen to Your Body: For one week, make a practice of checking in with your body before making decisions. When you think about a choice, where do you feel it? Does your body feel open and expansive (a ‘yes’), or tight and constricted (a ‘no’)? This is the beginning of trusting your inner guidance system.
This phase requires patience. You are unlearning a lifetime of conditioning. Be gentle with yourself. Every moment of clarity is a victory.
Phase 3: The Reclaiming (Building an Aligned Life)
The first two phases are internal: healing the past and clarifying the present. The Reclaiming is the external expression of this inner work. It is where you take your rooted foundation and your unveiled truth, and you build with them.
This is the “Rising” part of our journey.
To reclaim is to consciously choose to build a life that is in alignment with your spiritual truth. This is not about a one-time, dramatic transformation. It is a series of small, consistent, courageous choices, made every single day.
This is where your purpose finds its power. Your purpose is not just a job title; it is the way you move through the world. It is the energy you bring to your relationships, your work, and your community.
When you are rooted in your lineage and clear on your truth, your actions become ‘sacred actions’.
Reclaiming your life means you stop living by default and start living with divine intention. It means you finally give yourself permission to live the life you were born to live, not the one you were told you should have.
How to begin ‘The Reclaiming’:
- Practise Sacred Boundaries: This is the first and most vital act of reclaiming. A boundary is a loving ‘no’ to the world that allows you to say a sacred ‘yes’ to yourself. It is protecting your energy, your time, and your peace. It is teaching people how to treat you based on your newly discovered self-worth.
- Make Aligned Choices: Start small. Does the way you spend your Saturday morning reflect your truth? Does the food you eat nourish your body? Do the conversations you engage in uplift your spirit? Look at your daily life and find one small thing you can shift to bring it into closer alignment with your values.
- Find Your Community: This journey is not meant to be walked alone. We are communal beings. Seek out spaces and people who see, honour, and reflect your truth. This is the heart of what we do at Fematin958 Intl: creating a sanctuary for Black women, elders, and spiritual seekers to be witnessed and supported in their reclaiming.
The Sacred Invitation
To be rooted and to rise is to be fully human, fully divine. It is to stand at the centre of your own life, holding the wisdom of your ancestors in one hand and the vision for your future in the other.
This work, the work of building a life that reflects your spiritual truth, is the most important work you will ever do. It is a journey of healing, a return to grace, and a powerful act of love.
It begins with a single, simple step. A breath. A question. A prayer. It begins with the decision to honour that quiet, persistent ache inside you, and to accept its sacred invitation to come home.
