We often spend a great deal of our lives looking backward. We look back at the choices we made, the opportunities we missed, or the pain we inherited from those who came before us. In my work with Fematin958 Intl, much of our focus is on healing the past to free the present. However, there is a profound shift that occurs when we begin to look forward, not just to our retirement or our children’s futures, but into the spiritual realm itself. We must ask ourselves a vital, transformative question: What kind of ancestor am I becoming?
In Yoruba cosmology and many African diasporic traditions, death is not an end but a transition. It is a promotion into a different state of being where one continues to influence, protect, and guide the living. Yet, being an ancestor is not an automatic right granted by the passing of time.
It is a status earned through the quality of one’s life, the depth of one’s character, and the legacy of healing left behind. Preparing to become a revered ancestor is, perhaps, the ultimate act of service you can perform for your lineage.
Shifting the Perspective: From Survival to Legacy
For many Black women and elders, life has historically been defined by survival. We have been the backbone of families and communities, often carrying the heavy weight of systemic pressures and intergenerational trauma. When you are in survival mode, it is difficult to think about your “ancestor-in-training” status. You are simply trying to get through the day.
However, the “The Remembering” phase of our journey teaches us that we are part of a continuous thread. You are the future ancestor your great-grandchildren will call upon for strength. When we shift our perspective from merely “getting by” to “leaving behind,” our daily actions take on a sacred significance.
Every word spoken in anger, every act of forgiveness, and every moment of spiritual discipline becomes a brick in the foundation of your spiritual legacy.
To become a revered ancestor, one must live a life that is “heavy” with substance. In our tradition, we value the concept of Iwa Pele, or good character. It is the belief that our character is the only thing we truly take with us and the primary thing we leave behind. If we wish to be remembered as a source of wisdom and light, we must cultivate that light while we are still breathing.
The Three Phases of Ancestral Preparation
Preparing for this transition aligns perfectly with the core pillars of our work: The Remembering, The Unveiling, and The Reclaiming. Each phase serves as a stepping stone toward becoming an elder who will one day be venerated.
1. The Remembering: Healing the Lineage
You cannot become a healthy ancestor if you are still carrying the unrefined “refuse” of your predecessors. The Remembering involves looking back at your family tree and identifying the patterns of trauma, silence, or lack that have been passed down.
When you do the hard work of healing your own wounds, you stop the transmission of that pain to the next generation. This is a profound service. By resolving your own traumas, you ensure that when you transition, you arrive in the spiritual realm as a “clean” ancestor, one who offers guidance rather than one who requires constant pacification or healing from the living.
2. The Unveiling: Living with Authenticity
The Unveiling is about stripping away the masks we wear to please society or to hide our pain. A revered ancestor is one who lived their truth. Have you stepped into your divine purpose? Have you embraced the spiritual gifts that were deposited in you at birth?
To be a powerful spiritual guide later, you must be a powerful, conscious human now. This means:
- Practising radical honesty with yourself and others.
- Cultivating a relationship with the Divine that is personal and unwavering.
- Mentoring others, passing on the “codes” of wisdom you have unlocked during your journey.
3. The Reclaiming: Establishing Your Spiritual Authority
Reclaiming involves taking back your power from the narratives of cultural disconnection. It is about anchoring yourself in the rituals and traditions that sustain us. When you reclaim your spiritual heritage, you are essentially building a bridge. You are making it easier for those who come after you to find their way home.
Practical Steps to Build a Legacy of Reverence
How do we practically prepare for this spiritual promotion? It isn’t just about grand gestures; it is about the “micro-choices” we make every day. Here are several ways to focus your life on the legacy you wish to leave:
- Document Your Story: Our history has often been erased or rewritten by others. One of the greatest gifts you can leave is your own narrative. Write down your struggles, your triumphs, and the lessons you’ve learned. Let your descendants hear your voice through your words.
- Heal Your Relationships: Do not leave this earth with “unfinished business” if it can be helped. Forgiveness is not just for the other person; it is to ensure your spirit is light and unburdened when it transitions.
- Cultivate Spiritual Discipline: Whether it is through prayer, meditation, or sitting at your ancestral altar, develop a consistent practice. This creates a “spiritual muscle memory” that stays with you.
- Be a Custodian of Wisdom: Don’t take your secrets to the grave. Share your recipes, your spiritual insights, and your life hacks with the younger generation. Become a living library.
Addressing the Fear of Transition
For many, the topic of becoming an ancestor feels uncomfortably close to the topic of death. In our modern world, we are taught to fear the end. However, in a spirit-led life, we understand that we are simply changing form.
Think of a seed. For the seed to become a mighty iroko tree that provides shade for generations, it must first “die” to its form as a seed. It must go into the dark earth and transform.
We are much the same. Our time on this physical plane is the “planting” phase. If we nourish ourselves with character, love, and spiritual truth, the “tree” we become in the ancestral realm will be magnificent.
When you live with the intention of becoming a revered ancestor, your life takes on a beautiful clarity. You stop sweating the small, superficial things. You become more patient, more compassionate, and more focused on what truly matters. You start to ask, “Will this action make my descendants proud to call my name?”
The Call to Become a Living Ancestor
We often wait until someone is gone to call them an ancestor. But I believe we can be “living ancestors.” This means carrying ourselves with the dignity, wisdom, and grace that we expect from the spirits we pray to. It means being a sanctuary for others while we are still here.
When we embrace this role, we tackle the “cultural disconnection” that plagues our communities. We become the connection. We become the bridge. We provide the “Remembering” for those who are lost.
This is the heart of the work we do at Fematin958 Intl. We are not just healing individuals; we are refining the future ancestral pool of our people.
Preparing to be a revered ancestor is the ultimate act of service because it is entirely selfless. It is about ensuring that long after your name is no longer spoken by those who knew you personally, the energy of your love and the strength of your healing continue to ripple through your bloodline, providing a shield for children yet unborn.
Your Journey Starts Now
You do not have to wait until you are an elder to start this process. Whether you are in your twenties or your seventies, you are currently writing the “manual” that your descendants will use to navigate their lives. What will your manual say? Will it be a story of fear and stagnation, or will it be a roadmap to power, healing, and spiritual alignment?
I invite you to step out of the shadows of your past and into the light of your future legacy. Let us work together to unearth the patterns that are hindering your growth and replace them with the virtues that will make you a revered name in your lineage for centuries to come. You have the power to be a transition point in your family history, the one who turned the tide and established a new, sacred way of being.
Would you like to explore how to start building your spiritual legacy?
The patterns we carry today become the foundations for our descendants tomorrow. If you feel there are blocks preventing you from living your most authentic, powerful life, I am here to help you navigate that journey.
Book a 15-minute free Call with me – Learn to recognise and transform the negative patterns that may be holding you back and use them for your good. https://gloriaogunbadejo.com/15-minutes-call/
